Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Special Bulletin! Mofo awarded Nobel Peace Prize!

Wednesday, Oct. 14, 09 at 1:13pm pacific time


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Special Bulletin•Special Bulletin•Special Bulletin•Special Bulletin•Special Bulletin•

From the desk of Mofo News, this just in -

If you thought President Obama being awarded the prestigious Nobel Peace Prize
was a shocker!

On monday, October 12th, Mofo, a chicano clothing designer and pornographer from California was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.

Mofo, a self-proclaimed drug user and pervert and a man who describes himself as a "Sinner for Life", seems to be the opposite of everything the Nobel Peace Prize
is suppose to represent.

• What is the Nobel Peace Prize?

According to en.wikipedia.org -
"Is an award created by Swedish industrialist and inventor Alfred Nobel in 1895.
Alfred Nobel said the Peace Prize should be awarded to the person who:
“ during the preceding year have done the most or the best work for fraternity between nations, for the abolition or reduction of standing armies and for the holding and promotion of peace congresses".

What the Fuck!

• What does Mofo have to do with promoting peace world-wide?

According to the committee of the Nobel Peace Prize,
"Mofo's invention of "MENUDICK" has made millions of men so happy
with their New Thick Dicks, that violence through-out the world
has decreased by an un-believable 45 percent!

According to Police in Asia, Latin-America, the Middle-East & the USA,
"We have seen the most violent & angry men turn into gentle & caring citizens
because of eating "MENUDICK" and growing huge penises".

Here is an advertisement for Mofo's "MENUDICK" -


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• How does "MENUDICK" work?

Scientist Valerie Panocha from The Chorizo Laboratory in Phoenix, Arizona says,
"Somehow Mofo created and added secret ingredients to a soup known as Menudo,
that enlarges the penis, mainly in thickness to match exactly the dimensions
of the "MENUDICK" can, we don't know how, but Mofo did it".

Scientist Valerie Panocha provided Mofo News with these graphics -


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• Mofo News interviewed Mofo and asked why make the dick the size of a Menudo can?

"I knew a long time ago that women love thick, fat dicks. And I just got tired of fisting
girls pussies because my dick wasn't thick enough. So I knew I had to create something that would make men proud and please women all over the world.

So my goal was to create the greatest Penis Enlarger of all time and also represent
my Chicano roots. That's why I chose the Menudo can as the model for my
Penis Enlarger. Millions of Chicanos eat Menudo and the cans of Menudo are thick
as fuck".

And Mofo is right about women preferring girth over length.

According to netdoctor.co.uk -

"Some women are much more impressed by the thickness of a penis, rather than its length. This is because some females like the sense of feeling stretched round the entrance to the vagina – so if a guy is quite broad at the base of his penis, this can feel very exciting and satisfying to such women".

• Here is Mofo at The Nobel Peace Prize Ceremony held at the Oslo City Hall in Norway -


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The entire staff here at Mofo News would like to congragulate Mofo
our Founder & Editor in Chief of Mofo News.

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Mofo News "If u believe it, u probably believe that Crystal Meth is good for you"

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The above news is written for entertainment & satire purposes only.
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Saturday, July 4, 2009

A Special Health Issue from Mofo News. It can save ur life!

Thursday, June 26, 09 at 11:00am pacific time


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From the desk of Mofo News, this just in -

• The Gaping Anal Institute in New York, NY has just published a study that says,
"Anal Sex, specifically a Penis in a womens anus reduces the rate of all Cancers
in men & women 18-55 yrs old".

And here is some exciting news for Chicano men & women of all races -

• The Chorizo Laboratory in Phoenix, Arizona held a press conference and proudly
announced "that Giving head and swallowing the sperm of Chicano men reduces stress and lowers cholesterol levels in all females regardless of their age, race or life-style.

WTF! Beer and Marijuana can cure the common cold for couples?

• The highly respected Stoners for Life Research Group just released a 4 year study
that says this, "when any couple has the symptons of the common cold,
you should drink at least 64 ounces of beer and smoke half a gram of THC
and then go Down on each-other, like the 69 position
and swallow each-others love juice and your nose and your lungs
will instantly clear up and your headache will disappear'.

Smoke and your Cold will go away? Fuck it, I'll try it!


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And we end this Mofo News with some Sex Tips from Mofo -

• What's up fuckers?
I know we all want to make our dicks look like SUper Cocks to the ladies.
So here's a quick and easy tip to make your dick look 2-3 inches bigger in 2 minutes.

Get some good, sharp scissors like the ones pictured here -


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And then trim down all the hair on your balls
and around your penis to about 1/2 inch long.

Remember, for health reasons you do need some hair down there,
unless you want to look like your 3 fucken years old or a male porn star.

NOW, look at this!
See how the same size dick on the right looks 2-3 inches bigger?


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There you go, homies!
Who loves you?
Trim that hair and show the ladies what you got!

• There is nothing worse to a woman,
than when you try to fuck her and her ass is too BIG for your dick to hit that Pussy!

If her ASS is as big as the ASS in these pics,


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If her ASS is as big as the ASS in the above pics,
Don't even try the positions you see below in this chart!

Because I'm telling you she won't feel your dick unless its 10 inches!
I crossed out the positions you should NOT do.


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SO basically, don't try any positions from the back!
And Yes, the 69 is my favorite and it happens to be my sign Scorpio.

That's it Sick Girls and Sick Boys, there are your Sex Tips from Mofo!

Mofo News "If u believe it, u probably believe that Crystal Meth is good for you"

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